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He never seemed that happy in the relationship, but everyone just assumed they would eventually get married.

Now, after a long and difficult breakup, The New Lease On Life Guy has reemerged with a bang and is suddenly acting like he just got called down on The Price Is Right.

Oh and she also speaks French, plays tennis, sings beautifully, reads voraciously and she’s a history buff. As long as anyone can remember, The New Lease On Life Guy had been dating his longterm girlfriend.

Yet, that 26-year-old with the tight abs still thinks you're hot.

So rather than mourn the fact that you're still unattached at 35, recognize what a beautiful opportunity this is to get the best of both worlds. 30-somethings get really excited about their new Tempur-Pedic pillows.

He’d also really appreciate it if his mother would stop setting him up on dates.

The Misogynist hates women, and women hate The Misogynist.

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